We’re into the third week of the fall semester, when everything is starting to feel more permanent. At the beginning of the academic year, it’s all imaginary—a prank that goes on too long. But now the gauntlet has been thrown, and we’re slowly settling into our lives of expanding file folders, three-ring binders, and moldy critical theory.
When I was about 14, I got drafted into serving at a coffee shop. My friend worked there, and I wanted to help. I wanted to be useful. The problem, of course, was that I didn’t even drink coffee. It was a whole new language to me: cappuccin-who? I didn’t know how to ask about whole milk or almond or skim, and the idea of adding foam to just about anything was confusing on an existential level.
When I was 17, I went to Paris. I was stopped on the street by a woman whose scarf I still remember in vivid detail (green lace with silver tassels). She started asking me something—in French, of course—and she continued to ask more and more things as I shook my head or nodded at what seemed like appropriate moments, but probably weren’t.
At 20, I was in college. I somehow ended up running an online community for journalists, and then in an even more radical twist of fate, became responsible for planning a conference to bring them all to our sleepy little college town to meet with our sleepy little college students. I distinctly remember breaking down while I was on the phone line with the receptionist at the local hotel where we were putting up our attendees. She was pretty nice about it (#southerncharm).
All of that to say that when I walk into a college classroom at the beginning of every semester and somehow end up at the front teaching actual people, I feel like I’m continuing a long, personal tradition of pretending to be able to do things that, in all actuality, I can’t do. I can’t even almost do them. It honestly doesn’t seem that different from six-year-old me playing teacher in her bedroom, except I’m not rocking the same bangs as I did in the 90s.
I expect this trend to continue for quite some time—good thing I’ve had a lot of practice.